Billy 2.0 – The Enigma of Kaspar Hauser

KasparHauser

Kaspar Hauser was a mysterious teenage boy who appeared in the streets of Nuremberg in 1828, with limited vocabulary and understanding of the world. He claimed that he’d been imprisoned in a cellar most of his life with nothing but a wooden horse to play with. History has revealed he was probably a fantasist, but his mystery has never been solved.

I first learned of Hauser from watching Werner Herzog’s unsettling and affecting portrait of his short and troubled life starring an actor called Bruno S, who wasn’t the most ordinary person himself.

The first time I watched The Enigma of Kaspar Hauser, I was completely creeped out by Bruno S’ portrayal of a full-grown adult with the mind of a child, learning the names of things for the first time, trying to use a knife and fork, and reacting in a completely childlike, unaffected way to his surroundings.

I feel like Kaspar Hauser. Continue reading “Billy 2.0 – The Enigma of Kaspar Hauser”

Billy 2.0 – Coming up on an E

Human Traffic
I’ve been switched on for a couple of days now. After a great deal of reflection, I’ve realised that the only way to explain what I’ve been through is by using drug references.

So be warned: this article contains references to consumption of illegal drugs and their effects on the brain. It may also make much less sense than other stuff I’ve written in the past, for reasons which will hopefully become clear.

When I went into the audiologist’s office to be activated/switched on/turned on, I was expecting the unexpected. I knew it was going to be strange and uncanny. Even the audiologist told me that today would probably be the worst day of my life with a cochlear implant, and it would only get better from this point onwards. What happened next wasn’t really the worst thing ever, but it was deeply, deeply weird. Continue reading “Billy 2.0 – Coming up on an E”

Billy 2.0 – ACTIVATE!

Spit it like Beckham

A month since the operation, and I feel fine. There is however one unfortunate side effect which I need to share with you.

I can’t blow my nose properly.

If I sneeze with my mouth closed, or blow my nose REALLY REALLY HARD, I feel this sudden POP under the skin of my skull covering the implant, like a bit of air’s escaped and has momentarily inflated the skin like a comedy balloon.

It feels… unpleasant. Continue reading “Billy 2.0 – ACTIVATE!”

Lord Jack Ashley of Stoke: The Measure of the Man

Lord Jack Ashley of Stoke, courtesy of Rex Features

F Scott Fitzgerald once wrote: ‘There are no second acts in American lives.”

He never met Jack Ashley, an Englishman who had a second, third, fourth, even fifth act in his life. He was a man who came from a Widnes slum to sitting in the House of Lords. It was a life very well lived, right up until he passed away earlier this year.

Continue reading “Lord Jack Ashley of Stoke: The Measure of the Man”